- Alone or Lonely?
You can be alone and not be lonely. You can also be in a crowd and be terribly lonely. It all depends upon your outlook on life and the
life purposes that drive you. While loneliness is a common ailment in the aged, especially after they have lost a life companion, it is not
age but one’s purpose in life that dictates the degree of loneliness or aloneness. There is a difference.
I have lived alone these past 40 years with short periods where I enjoyed some company. Though alone, I was not afflicted by
loneliness too much because I had a rainbow I was chasing. I was not interested in most of the subjects I was required to learn in
school. I used to count the years I had to remain in school before I could be free to do my own thing. I did tell this to my father and was
punished for it.
World War II gave me the opportunity to escape through joining the Fleet Air Arm of the British Navy and thereafter I was free to follow
my own interests. Success for me was overcoming the different hurdles I had before me. It had no relationship to material success out
in the world. From that view I was a failure, a rolling stone, a grasshopper, going from one one venue to another, seemingly tiring of
each when I achieved the skills, to start at the bottom in another . I was a misfit.
What attracted me most were avenues to solve problems and the challenge of the seemingly impossible. To that end I acquired a vast
variety of expertise in fields ranging from software programming, computers, mechanics, electronics, admin, hazard awareness and even
the predictive occult practices. Everything new to me was interesting and I did not rest until I mastered it, but then I lost interest. As a
friend suggested, it would be easier to name the fields I had no experience in. Yet, it took me a long time before I discovered that my
troubleshooting skills were my greatest asset.
I also discovered that it gave me a great deal of pleasure and satisfaction to fight for the oppressed or enslaved and destitute. To find
avenues for their recovery and to correct the practices which were no more than temporary band aids. Voila! I had found my purpose
in life. From that point I have never looked back.
Yes, I am still in need of companionship. Not in numbers of people. Not in any kind of company. But in kindred spirits, from among
the thinking, questioning and the curious. There are times when I miss someone to shae a thought, an idea, a scene, music, a touch.
Unfortunately, I seem to have missed the bus. Approaching 82 years of age, I am still a misfit. My thoughts are four generations
ahead, my activities are about two generations younger and physically I am about a generation younger. My website is how I am
reaching out to the world for the interaction I need. So, though I am alone, I am not lonely because I have a fully satisfying purpose in
life.
A contemporary of mine, a few months younger but reached the highest position in his field, is today very lonely, surrounded by care-
givers, lying in bed, almost bedridden and not exercising his mind. Many years ago and shortly after he lost his wife, I was having a
drink with him at his home when he told me. “Sus, you elected to be alone, I did not. She left me”. I said “ Get married again”. The
words were hardly out of my mouth when I heard his daughter who had just come in say “No way”. He never had the strength to stand
up to his children and they relegated him to a life of loneliness. 12 years of a life with nothing to look forward to, purposeless, wasted,
alone and lonely.
A lady I was very close to was one of the most bubbly and young-at-heart in my world. She was also one of the smartest women I knew.
Friends who came to visit her were reluctant to leave. She made people feel ten feet tall. Her one weakness was her love for her two
sons. She passed away from kidney failure at 86 years, a shadow of herself, alone and lonely, without any of the things or people that
pleased her.
Another lady I know who developed from starting as an office typist and retired as an executive underwriter with a twin engine flying
licence, is today alone, lonely and changing her abode between countries because she had no purpose in life except to help her children.
The alone, need a purpose in life to avoid being lonely, to fill the hours and look forward rather than look back. Those with a purpose
in life will always be alone whether they are with a significant other or a crowd unless the people he or she is with have the same
interests and objectives.
| In this page Alone or lonely Ageless Significant Other Grow old gracefully |
- HeartSerene and Invincible
We grow best and fastest when we selflessly help the weaker overcome their problems and deficiencies.
Regain your inherently positive self
- A curative service for middle and low income heads of households and breadwinners, aging fast through heavy stress, depression, the ghosts
of the past, regrets, losses, disappointments, millstone like liabilities and dependence on outside influences and assistance.
A lifetime of days, months and years with your loved ones is precious and if lost or wasted, can never be recovered. The years do not age
you, YOU Do through the following, combining to cause distress and aging you far beyond your years
a) idologies, blind faiths, religions, cults that take away your inherent right to be independent
b) feeling the need to project pretentious images of power, position and possessions to impresss.
c) the stress of obligations that cannot be met,
d) obsessive ties to ghosts of the past,
c) each day, month and year in dreary repetition, no different than the last,
d) held down by millstone like addictions, attractions attachments and obligations
e) leaning on “crutches” that discourage independence,
- Take years off your looks, feelings, aging and outlook. Build upon your strengths and raise your expectations for the future. Keep your
mind as far into the future as you can. Make plans that accomplish final goals, achieving interim objectives along the way, preparing to
correct deficiencies as each step arrives in your present.
Life and time with your loved ones is to be enjoyed not suffered. Open your wings and fly. Your future is yours to plan for and
determine. Fulfill your natural potential, find and use your best and most productive medium of self-expression, fire up your inherent
powers. HeartSerene offers a patient ear and an understanding heart to help free you of heavy stress causing factors, all without charge or
obligation.
Are your days so satisfying, even though there is no difference from one day to the next? Are they really worth repeating, each day no more
productive or exciting than the last? Each year just growing older; not better, not busier, not happier?
Suicide Watch
No one contemplates suicide from physical pain, however intense that pain. They will lose a leg, an arm or undergo other physical pain but cling
to survival. Yet, apart from the brainwashed suicidal among terrorist groups, most of the suicides result from mental despair. The heartsserene
and invincible foundation, will without charge nor obligation sit with the suicidal. Turning around the suicidal through patient and caring
attention to change the outlook of the suicidal to more mind satisfying interests and activities.
Despair is the worst form of distress, blocking out every alternative. The suicidal need interests and activities and even responsibilities that hold
their attention. To help the suicidal become open to new opportunities and activities that demand thought.
Ageless
- The question “Why?” followed with more “Whys” and the answers they may bring are an effective means of avoiding both aging and the
very dreaded condition known as Alzheimer’s.
Recent discoveries in neurology and the development of Brain Plasticity have established effective activities to overcome our vulnerability to
aging and Alzheimer’s.
At age 81, I act and look years younger. I attribute this to my habit of never looking back on troubling pasts and go-no-where mental and
physical occupations, focusing my mind and interests, generations ahead of my time and developing both lobes of my brain.
As a kid, I was obviously a nuisance at home with my unending questions. All my life it has been why?, why?, why?. I think my entire life
has been one long series of queries. So when my questions stop, do pull my plug.
The common assumption that one earns a well deserved rest and no longer needs to exercise the mind is a pathway to Alzheimer’s. The
successful and the wealthy, past the time when they worked hard to get there, tend to become complacent. To retire, relax and stop learning.
No longer interested in attempting new and additional mental activities. Leaving brains dormant, occupied with nothing but superficial
enjoyment, entertainment and other mindless life patterns.
It is only the competition for recognition that promotes effort to do better in areas such as golf and ball games, none of which require brain
exercise, leaving them prone to Alzheimer’s.
“Why?” is a powerful motivator of thought processes. Questions trigger thought. The mental activity which impels heavy thinking and
learning. Brain plasticity, the neurological activities which develop brain strengths respond to active interest through enquiry. An interest
in the new, the strange and the seemingly impossible induces moods or inclinations to delve deeply into special subjects, thus exercising the
brain, holding back, even curing deterioration. It is as simple as that. .
Like aerobics for the body, there are exercise one can do to exercise the brain. Chess is the best example, taxing the brain and encouragin
innovation and creativity. Most others, including the numbers cross puzzle are not as effective. The answers are already set and all one
must do is to follow a path of reasoning to find them. Chess is better because it requires manipulation or innovative creativity to avoid being
checkmated.
Better still, the world’s people are suffering from a host of dire needs to which we need effective answers, where instead of temporary fixes we
exercise promising strategies for permanent correction. Strategies that allow no going back. All the billions currently spent goes on
alleviation, just temporary relief, band aids, NOT correction and the disease goes merrily on.
As we age we tend to lose interest in new developments, even in the world and turn our minds back to memories of familiar times instead.
The kind of happy memory that is brought to mind by a chance word, a passing scene, a tender look, a gentle hand, a note, a tune, a song,
taking us fleetingly back in our hearts to times in the past to remain a highlight of our day. But obsessive regrets, reasons for hate and other
ghosts of the past are not memories that we should keep nor nurture. Worries like that do nothing for us. Merely causing deep stress and
premature aging.
Highly active minds can resist deterioration, even curatively recover damaged brain functions and avoid dreaded Alzheimer’s. I suggest the
interested study material on Brain Plasticity, now available on the internet.
Retirement homes are commendably comfortable and offer excellent care and medical attention to Senior needs. But, they fail in catering to
the needs of senior mental faculties, risking deterioration and possibly Alzheimer’s.
For the average individual, especially the elderly most prone to brain dysfunction, books, software, and programs are too difficult to follow.
It is really not necessary that they do. As long as they understand the difference between activities that are familiar and commonplace and
those that require the exercising of creative thought..
Learning to play musical instruments, to dance and even computing can be very beneficial through necessary exercise of the brain with some
ambidexterity, but once learned, returning to routine, like preparing for bed is a negation of effort.
Chess is about the only indoor activity that will always remain a mindful exercise. Problem solving is also an activity that can never become
commonplace. Those who are caregivers in senior homes can setup seniors into think tank like groups, even in competition between groups
if numbers are large. Giving them real life related problems to solve in competing between groups. This foundation is actively engaged in
promoting the use of retired executives as support think tanks to assist in parallel development of new ideas and answers to corporate,
organizational, economic and industrial problems.
At age 81, I am trying to give back to the world for all the support and kindness I have received during an eventful lifetieme. Undaunted,
fighting oppression and victimization, still troubleshooting and refusing to age with the years. Youthfully active and selflessly dedicated to
the prevention, correction and cure of oppression, violation and victimization of the dependent and helpless. Devoting all my time, thought
and energy to protecting the distressed, especially in causes which have not been adequately addressed.
Happiest in the company of forward generation thinkers, especially the young and uninhibited, unafraid to project their minds into the
future. Following progressive trends, conscious of the needs of those who are trapped in lesser conditions, misfortunes and closed
minds.
All my life a non-conformist, a rebel, more interested in the functional and inner, natural self than in pretentious imaging. Creative and
innovative, a natural problem-solver, unusually versatile, free of boundaries, exceptions, believing that the entire world’s people are equal in
heart and spirit and entitled to every opportunity. Dedicated to sharing a lifetime of thought and experience to enrich the lives of all around
me. Wanting everyone to be happy with themselves. Positioning them to become heart-serene and invincible.
It is very sad that as the world progressed, we grew from tribal boundaries to villages, to urban districts and eventually into nations. Yet
failed to go that one step further and embrace the world as one. A deficiency caused by self-serving politicians and imposed on the common
man. So we have an imbalance of plenty for some and famine for greater numbers, raising dissension among the deprived and leading to
forceful equalization in forms like terrorism.
Can we retrace? No. There is no going back. Enough evidence of man’s cupidity and his consequent inhumanity towards his fellow men,
proves that. The United Nations was instituted to attempt correction, but failed miserably because it is mainly staffed by careerists, not the
selflessly concerned. Careerists follow their training and few are imaginative enough to innovatively create effective answers to the
immensely burgeoning problems. It is left to private, sincere and sensitive organizations like the HeartSerene Foundation to fill the void. Yes,
a void. A void in effective interest and approaches to meet the need.
We cannot change the way an individual wants to think. Each one follows a pathway he or she feels will lead to self-satisfaction. That
satisfaction is the key to change individual outlooks. For most today, satisfaction comes from the competitive acquisition and accumulation
of power, position, prestige and possessions. It matters little that none of it is permanent. Each believes that he or she knows how to guard
against impermanence. Humanity needs more than that.
An individual’s mental and physical condition cannot be assessed by the number of times Mother Earth orbits the Sun. The years do not
necessarily enfeeble us, our choices and excesses do. The physical form develops in size, strength and capability from conception for about a
third of our lives, then starts to degenerate at different rates depending upon how we care for and treat it, until our demise. The brain
however begins to develop with the body, but never stops, continuing to repair itself until death or mental idleness degenerates into
Alzheimer’s.
Yes, selfish and conniving, man with his particular endowments far greater than any other being on earth, has failed in his responsibility to
the world and all its denizens. “ Human” must indeed be a dirty word in the animal lexicon.
I understand that language dates back about 40,000 years. Hence developmental thought could not have been too much before that. Thought
trains require language and the more extensive an individual’s vocabulary, the better his ot her ability to formulate a result.
It was estimated that it took the world about 600 years to go through the agricultural age into the age of technology, but only 60 years from
there to reach the space age. At that rate of acceleration, one wonders where we will be in the next half hour.
I suggest that one of the reasons for that acceleration in growth is that those who went before are around us as Sunbeams, working
through enquiring minds, helping in the world’s progress, giving us the benefit of their experience. This concept may not be acceptable in
the context of some ideologies, nevertheless it is a distinctly natural probability if not a fact. .
The deficiency in ideologies is that they negate both individual and collective self-responsibility when they encourage the passing on of
responsibility to fate, karma or the will of an almighty, all-seeing, all powerful entity. An entity able to bless both sides of a confict to
decimate the other and, placidly countenance the consequent mayhem and suffering of little children.
I would embrace any ideology where promises of better, healthier and safer tomorrows that are never delivered and, heavenly hereafters are
replaced by evidence that every adherent is perfectly well and happy.
We are all born uniquely different, whole in mind and body with a combination of talents, aptitudes, characteristics and form solely ours and
free of all weakness. We acquire all our weakness from the adults around us during our early years. Their deficiencies, their prejudices, their
pettiness, their views however biased, their fears, incapabilities and incapacities.
Come alive, overcome pressures and avoid Alzheimer’s. Continue to question until the answers stop prompting new queries. Only the
selfless, the respectful and forward thinking will understand this. Unlike the body, an enquiring brain remains active and self-renewing
during one’s entire lifetime.
Take years off your aging, looks, feelings and your outlook on the world. Go forward into the future and use time and your inherent powers
to your advantage and start building a new and exciting future
The unimaginative and sheep-like, merely repeat their daily existence, each year a little older, each month just getting by, each day no different
than the last? Is that living?
The most powerful deterrent to your progress is your obsession with bad memories, regrets and such ghosts from your past. Unhappy and
regretful events most use to excuse negativity.It is essential that each ends any preoccupation or obsession with the past. To lose the regrets,
the disappointments, the liabilities that may stress and age you to make you unhappy and depress all around you...
Halt your aging. Seek out, question and challenge everything you meet. Forget the past. Lose your Ego and look forward to everything
new in the Universe, reveling in each new day as it comes. We can direct our destiny, applying mind over matter. Whatever we suffer or
enjoy are the inevitable outcome of natural progression. Not retribution, karma, fate or a nebulous entity.
The past is out of our reach to alter. The present is a fleeting moment, but what we do in that series of fleeting moments, is what eventually
causes the repercussions that affect us, our environment and others.
We can only dictate how we act or react in those present moments as they pass, by planning for or directing what will arrive in those fleeting
moments. Mind over matter. You do not have to decline along with the years. The years do not age you, your choices and excesses do.
You age fastest when your concern for others stop and you have nothing to dwell on but your past disappointments. Selfless purpose is the
essence of humanity and a naturally powerful source of satisfaction from meeting needs for the helpless and the weaker.
Happiness is a natural follow-up to satisfaction and only comes from sincere concern and service for others.
Make the world come to you. Forge ahead with your finest medium of self-expression, pursuing new ideas, exciting challenges, wider
perceptions, satisfying ventures and happier encounters.
Be original in thought, word and action, not echoing others. Sincere, sensitive, dependable, selfless and humble with a clear conscience,
responsibility, unpretentious values, mutual respect and, an excellence of heart and spirit. Whether you want a benefit or worry about harm
or loss to yourself or another, the result will be the same. Depending upon your intensity, they can both come true. Visualize a view of your
objective as you desire it. Follow through with every step necessary for it to happen. You can make your wishes come true. A patient ear
and an understanding heart will help you solve your problems and free your mind and heart to advance you into the future.
Consider your options when you arrive at life’s crossroads? You can give up and resign yourself to hopelessness. Else, go right or left or
around in circles repeating the activities where you failed. Have you really anywhere else to go but UP? Overcome the anchors that weigh
you down and free yourself to rise. Marshall your positive strengths and apply positive realities to achieve your objectives.
How well you position yourself in relation to your world determines your growth and development, your performance and achievement...
How well you want to live? Where you function best?. How well you do function? Who you want to work among? Your most effective
medium of self-expression in which you function best? How well you protect yourself and how you face and overcome the vicissitudes that
life can bring.
A process of strict self-examination, drastic correction and self-development where you position yourself to meet your world and enjoy your
future on your own terms. Selectively responding to your changing environment without reacting to negative events. Liberating yourself
from all weakness including the millstones and crutches that prevent you from rising. Above pretentious and transitory, external self-images
that others project to a world trapped in negative ‘norms’ and excesses.
Applying your strengths through your best medium of self-expression to reach the heights. Attracting exciting prospects and stimulating
new ideas. Remaining unstressed, totally relaxed, independent and self-controlled. Positive and free to think, to speak, to care, to act, to
make each day your own.
Do you have the will and the drive to take control of your life and your destiny? Are you ready to take the necessary steps to develop
yourself into a Giant among men? Is your outlook totally positive? Do you sincerely care about those with less and undaunted by what
you must do to take control of your own fortunes? Life is a Matter of Choices
To selflessly care about those with less. To be ready to share your fortunes and growth opportunities. To open pathways to encourage the
weak and less able to widen their horizons and move up in their world without being trapped in futile circles for life. To reciprocally focus on
positive objectives to help make this world a better place for the old, the young and the yet unborn. To make each new day more exciting,
more pleasurable, more treasurable than the last.
Choose Your Objectives. Dare to be who you are, the way you naturally are. Do you want to be free to dream, to speak, to care about those
with less, to act, to dare any challenge? To be the natural and essential YOU, free of obligations to suffer discomfort, outworn “norms” and
avoidable impositions?
Would you care to widen your horizons, expand your outlook, see more, do more, challenge the new, the exciting and stimulating, the
heights, the strange, even the seemingly impossible? To seek your own threshold to a future you plan, achieve and change as you wish? To
determine your own destiny through your will and your natural attributes, exercising your mind over the matter that weighs you down.
Have you the will to make your world as eventful, happy and satisfying as you can make it? Can you think outside the box, be a kid
again? Would you like to set your mind free to soar far, wide and upward? Have you the spirit and self-respect to refuse to be driven by
unnecessary or restrictive, outworn “norms” your society sets for you and others to unthinkingly follow? In cannibal land it is a “norm” to
eat your neighbor.
Anything worth achieving is never easy. Yet, nothing is impossible, only its pathway is studded with essential requirements and difficulties
that make accomplishment seem impossible, offering excuses to give up trying. There are no unsolvable problems, only unrecognized
solutions.
The trick is to break each step down into its smallest, manageable parts and follow through to accomplishment. Any journey begins with the
first step. What holds you back? Only your conditioning. Your weakness and submission to ‘norms’ you never chose but unthinkingly
became submitted to. Lifestyles dictated by the social circles you choose to move in.
- That Significant Other
- Except with a union of convenience, no two persons should enter into a mutually significant relationship unless each, selflessly holds the
other in high esteem, giving unqualified priority for the other’s needs and wishes. This prevents either from hurting the other and avoids
misunderstandings that often affect relationships.
In a fast developing, fast changing and highly competitive society, it is far from easy for two mentally active persons to remain for long
without opposing views on a subject. Ideally, the willingness of both to respect the rights of each to his or her own views and to
pragmatically reason out that view will leave no aftermath of resentment.
But we humans being what we are, unless we are self-possessed and mentally strong such a situation could lead to a break up. However, a
large age difference between the two will end without recrimination as the older will generally refrain from making opposing views an issue.
Ideally, females or the younger of the two should latch on to older others who have already achieved some success and no longer feel
threatened or has a need to prove or establish his self-image.
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